"Oh, I can't go out, Burn Notice is on tonight." Umm... okay. You know, it's great that you have a favorite TV show and all, but you've turned into a hermit. A fat fucking hermit. If it's not Burn Notice, it's American Idol or Lost or True Blood or The Bachelor or some other mind numbing crap. You wonder why you are 35 and single? It's because you won't leave the house. Stop bitching and marry your TV.
And you, the one who somehow managed to get pregnant between channel surfing, no matter what you say, you will never convince me that watching TV is a family activity. No, going on a hike together is a family activity. Sitting in the living room reading aloud is a family activity. Taking a rifle and shooting your kids in the face is a god damned family activity. Asses glued to the couch, drool running out of your mouth, watching reruns of Friends or Gilmore Girls is NOT a family activity. It isn't even activity. It takes no thought... at all. And setting your kids in front of Dora isn't the same as spending time teaching them something.
I don't have a television, and I am sick of people asking me how I can stand it or what I do with my free time. Uh, I read. I hone my skills on the piano. I run. None of these are difficult concepts to grasp. Hell, if more people turned off the idiot box and DID something, who knows what could be accomplished. Alas, this isn't going to happen. CSI is on, so you had better park it back on the couch.
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